"We were wayward stars"

We were wayward stars, filling ourselves with elemental might
Fighting against predestination with our recidivist light
The forgotten souls that time threw away
Forgotten souls that the gods kept at bay

We had one chance and one chance alone
One last life to live and one future to own

And yet we desired something of terminality

We thought of undeath—stupefied by eternity

We just may be things of unsettled being

For we are not of gods—of uncaring reason

Because just as pulsars rotate singing our lovesongs

So we tumble like atoms in cosmic storms

I do not think we are much longer for this reality

I think we need not think of yesterday or of infinity

We should continue to career wildly, all awry

T'ward a glorious, unabashed—a star's—goodbye—

M.M.

Endless

I fell into a deepest hole

Seeing everything I stole

Looking up from the bottom

To the top

Smiling like a foolish asshole

And still, I make the same mistakes

Breaking what I make

Like the inevitable crack

In the side

Of what I still call my mind

I see something like a light in the sea

That I think may be, what makes me

Be free, from me

That really

Could be the cause I need

I am whoever I am, and will be

Whomever I now be

Living this endless fantasy

But it needs

An end, and an end of the false me

M.M.

The End of Summer

I felt the winds grow colder as we grew older
Just as all things came to an end

I thought of all I should have told her
Before all things came to the end

There was a melody that played throughout summer
Something that sang to us to what was no end

But I'm packing away the faded glow of her
Until it's ready to dance so wildly again

A spring that fell in love with summer

And another summer that's now gone and been

M.M.

"I thought I was for Death"

I thought I was for Death

I thought I was for nothing

I thought I was for nothing at all

But when Death came

When Death came, all handsome and beautiful

When Death came, I think fell in love

I thought when Death came, I’d be for nothing

I thought when Death came, I would be nothing

I thought when Death came, I’d be no more than nothing at all

But when Death came

When Death came and spoke to me all handsomely

When Death came and spoke to me

I spoke to Him

I spoke to Him and I listened

I spoke to Him and I heard

He said to be

He said to be something

He said to be something else

I think Death was someone

I think Death was someone else

I think I loved, and loved, and loved Death

That maybe Death was someone else

That He was someone else

Someone else who loved me

M.M. 

Love-Song of Two Stars

You perceive more than most.
You see the world for its
strings and waves, which
interlace and stream
through one another.
An attunement in you, so natural to you,
as integral as the vibrations of the world
you see within and outwith yourself.

When I give,
my ideas are compacted and
packaged. Black-hole masses
as small and as big as a thought—
and you let them blossom. Like
petals, in a spring wind, carried
near or far or however which way.
Destinations with names and locations
unknown at inception, but oh so real.

Always have I been a stone
figure, posed and still in
the dark. Something seen in
half-forgotten dreams. Stagnant
eternally. Till the shining that came
from your voice, from your mind, broke me.

We each walk paths for
ourselves—each to their own
as we each are masters of our own
creatures, unwieldy as they are.
And yet the reason always the same:
to understand a world that defies
reasoning, that wishes never to be understood.

Like ballast in my vessel, departed
from the port of a sun, you are my stability.
The first and the last—you are the atomic
in the fundamentals incised in me.

But comets, we two, far-flung and
infinite-distant. Stars in the void.
Too far to career together;
dancing too close to join.

All this an ever-dream. All this
a distance much too far, much
too much—not for you or for I, but for
us.

M.M. —  06-Aug-2016

Mind Voyage

My feet stand firmly on the ground
But my mind rides on rays of the sun
Stationary in time but waiting for more
For all my possible futures to come

I journey through the empty void
That separates one thought and another
A moment that lasts as long as a flicker

And as briefly as the touch of forever

I have waited so long for nothing at all

And for nothing to be my everything and all

A lifetime spanning one end to another end

To, at last, realize the needs of my sun's crescent

Sharpening the philosophic weapon that is my mind
Going back to the beginning and hurling myself forward
Deep into the blackest deep and unleashing it all skyward

And perhaps, one millennium, to burn, to shine, and to die

With peace and kindness, relinquished, all in one, and all mine

M.M.

Prose IX

Streaming from an imperceptible ceiling so high came down the most revealing white light. It illuminated the eerie vapor that pervaded the entire gargantuan atrium-like space, it as cavernous as its unseen ceiling was foreboding. The light defined little in the empty space save the center (or what seemed the center). There it formed a strangely, clearly delineated circle. Not even slightly amorphous as one would have thought, given the thick, diffuse vapor.

Though in fact, the light lit more than the center: It shone seemingly accusatorially on a shape-seeming man, naked and standing as if prepared for a fight he knew not from where it would come. Clenched fists by his sides, chest in a belligerent display, a visage of attentive intelligence and pride—he scanned the black all about him and waited for it to begin.

M.M.

 See, you gotta stay strong, for no one more than for yourself. You gotta believe that you are very much worth it. Worth the struggle and worth the strife. Because you see, the clutches of your pain draw the most strength from your own self-deprecation. Your prison is built by the insidious design of the lies that fester within you, that you unavoidably feed. So you must look to the innards of your self and fight for yourself. You are the first, last, and sometimes only, echelon of your own defense. Stay strong and stay faithful.

Aiming for the Horizon

I'm aiming for the horizon

For the cradle of dusk and dawn

Where both nothing and everything

Exist, in unison and in discord

I've decided to leave behind the trap

Of boxes, borders, and broken bones

All that I was beholden and usurped by

For something that is... awry and... at angles

I'm leaving behind the husk of my self—its shell

For it's so damn withered, weathered, and worn

Battered, beaten, and so bored, and burrowed

It's expended itself, now just an inkless pen

The horizon: far beyond all I've ever dreamed of

A sheen pinpoint beyond the vast mass of my own past

An unknown something, scintillating in its beauty

Finally a way out of my own darkness

M.M.

"Full-blooded and bold"

Full-blooded and bold
I have strife in me that fuels me
Stood upon the surface of the sun
And now I lust for the universe

Took me years to fall and years to rise
Lived off of self-doubt and dogma
A spirit with a yearning glow
And a mind building itself

There has been a darkness
Stretching from soul to sight
Darkness replete in me, filling me
Obsidian black, deathless night

I found meaning in love
I found salvation in love
I found myself when I found her
Life at long last

The sky I see, the man I want to be
Sustained by fire—lifted by might
The dreams I form, the reveries I breathe
Those living and those unborn

Twenty-eight years and time still a fear
My ambitions held in place by a single will
My heart held in hand by a single woman
And the terminal point a frightful unknown

The dreams and the desires
The storms and the fires
Visited every night, manifested every day
Fought for in every one of my living moments

M.M.