It was like I was shot through the heart. Pierced through my ribcage and flesh by a thunderbolt come from some unknowable provenance. I was down; I was low. My spirit's wholesomeness in a feeble state. I found myself winding the villainous back roads of self-doubt. And how fast I careered. But while under the shadowy vault of self-pity something of an immense force struck every particle of my very soul. The adrenaline was oh so noticeable as it coursed throughout my body, carried along by the vehicles inside me wrought by aeons of time and nature's patience. And my mind. It was if a fog or haze was swiftly cleared from my thoughts. I could soon feel a primordial strength take hold of me. Strangely, it was at once a physical vitality and a mental one. I used it; I fell into it; I armed myself with its weapons. And thus reinvigorated I clawed and climbed myself out of the pitiful abyss.
And here I stand—still here and always so. A man with but his heart, his head, his body and his will. With purpose and direction. A murderer of fear and a liberator of my own design. Freed from my self-convicted imprisonment. With his eyes and volition directed forward unto every new sun. Soul invictus.
M.M. — 28-Mar-2015
28 March 2015
10 March 2015
"Fallen son, fallen sun"
Inspired by the music of Enslaved
Fallen son, fallen sun
Shouted at the gods in vain
Beseeched the vaulted sky
Silent like the dense night
Rode on like the wind
Through the forests filled with death
And the fires of my birth
Hell and earth, one and the same
Moulded from the soil
And fused with the lights above
Caverns in my mind
And the timber of age in my limbs
Fallen from the dreams of the thunder
Onto the hard, living earth
Blood burning, breathing hurting
Child forgotten by the elder ones
M.M. — 09-Mar-2015
Fallen son, fallen sun
Shouted at the gods in vain
Beseeched the vaulted sky
Silent like the dense night
Rode on like the wind
Through the forests filled with death
And the fires of my birth
Hell and earth, one and the same
Moulded from the soil
And fused with the lights above
Caverns in my mind
And the timber of age in my limbs
Fallen from the dreams of the thunder
Onto the hard, living earth
Blood burning, breathing hurting
Child forgotten by the elder ones
M.M. — 09-Mar-2015
08 March 2015
Of a Song
I heard a song come in from across the seas.
It came down, like a falling petal, from the starry nightsky.
The melodies were of a lightness of the soul
and the harmonies sourced up from deep down in the heart.
I heard this song, fallen down from the clouds up high,
and it expanded in me. It grew as a child grows,
with turbulence and joy and pain and wonder.
It lingered, it lingered for what I thought was so long,
stayed with me like a lover during the warmth of summer.
I indulged in its lilts and romance, I freely admit.
It led me through meadows and in and out of dreams,
with nothing but a fine note or two, or a whole theme.
I think it felt to me like love, or perhaps spoke of my own,
one lost long ago or unrequited. Yes, it was touched
by the softest tinge of inconsolable, bittersweet sorrow.
And in that sorrow came a flood of nostalgia,
and a smile brought on by memories of happiness,
and sadness too—for what is love if not a most welcome pain?
This song, it left me too soon, abandoned me
to the ordinariness and blankness of the world.
This dream in sound, I fell into it like one would fall
into the eyes of the loveliest of women.
But the dream, the song, ended, like the closing of her eyes:
a moment of bliss cut short and stolen away.
M.M. — 08-Mar-2015
It came down, like a falling petal, from the starry nightsky.
The melodies were of a lightness of the soul
and the harmonies sourced up from deep down in the heart.
I heard this song, fallen down from the clouds up high,
and it expanded in me. It grew as a child grows,
with turbulence and joy and pain and wonder.
It lingered, it lingered for what I thought was so long,
stayed with me like a lover during the warmth of summer.
I indulged in its lilts and romance, I freely admit.
It led me through meadows and in and out of dreams,
with nothing but a fine note or two, or a whole theme.
I think it felt to me like love, or perhaps spoke of my own,
one lost long ago or unrequited. Yes, it was touched
by the softest tinge of inconsolable, bittersweet sorrow.
And in that sorrow came a flood of nostalgia,
and a smile brought on by memories of happiness,
and sadness too—for what is love if not a most welcome pain?
This song, it left me too soon, abandoned me
to the ordinariness and blankness of the world.
This dream in sound, I fell into it like one would fall
into the eyes of the loveliest of women.
But the dream, the song, ended, like the closing of her eyes:
a moment of bliss cut short and stolen away.
M.M. — 08-Mar-2015
02 March 2015
The First Beat of the Heart
The first beat of the heart came from across the sea
It travelled the leagues across the ocean of love
From the kingdoms of ice and evening-time dreams
It came waywardly, fallen or stolen from some star above
Drumming and deepening, its young resonance grew
Consonant and in concordance with an elder song
Soft or rough, and mighty as the seawinds that blew
Coming as a comet from far away, whence it was flung
The first beat came and jolted to life the fledgling soul
Brought with it a light like starlit gold, straight from the sun
There risen across the sea, every one of its parts one and whole
Beginning the beating first begun, deep in the depths of some dying sun
M.M. — 02-Mar-2015
It travelled the leagues across the ocean of love
From the kingdoms of ice and evening-time dreams
It came waywardly, fallen or stolen from some star above
Drumming and deepening, its young resonance grew
Consonant and in concordance with an elder song
Soft or rough, and mighty as the seawinds that blew
Coming as a comet from far away, whence it was flung
The first beat came and jolted to life the fledgling soul
Brought with it a light like starlit gold, straight from the sun
There risen across the sea, every one of its parts one and whole
Beginning the beating first begun, deep in the depths of some dying sun
M.M. — 02-Mar-2015
01 March 2015
"A little darkness before the dawn"
A little darkness before the dawn
A little desolation before the sun
To Hell and its Gates before we break
A breath so deep before the plunge we take
Heaven's eternal fires are ours to have
Just our hollow hearts we need to halve
If we could see the silver stairs to the stars
And journey towards them no matter how far
Minutes are lost with every passing hour
A droplet drained from the well of power
Or health to our heathen hearts still beating
In this decrepit life ever so fleeting
The heavy toll of midnight's coming
Like the storm from our summoning
Dancing like the dead under the moon
Seeking and searching till eventual doom
But the imperial sun rising once again
Laid us bare under the Light's reign
And we dancing dead stood there instead
Opened our eyes and felt its godhead
Such that we too rose
To join the stars now decomposed
And compose ourselves once more
To reignite our dimming cores
A little darkness before the dawn
A little fear before end of song
To reach the fires of the illustrious sun
To return from where we once had come
M.M. — 01-Mar-2015
A little desolation before the sun
To Hell and its Gates before we break
A breath so deep before the plunge we take
Heaven's eternal fires are ours to have
Just our hollow hearts we need to halve
If we could see the silver stairs to the stars
And journey towards them no matter how far
Minutes are lost with every passing hour
A droplet drained from the well of power
Or health to our heathen hearts still beating
In this decrepit life ever so fleeting
The heavy toll of midnight's coming
Like the storm from our summoning
Dancing like the dead under the moon
Seeking and searching till eventual doom
But the imperial sun rising once again
Laid us bare under the Light's reign
And we dancing dead stood there instead
Opened our eyes and felt its godhead
Such that we too rose
To join the stars now decomposed
And compose ourselves once more
To reignite our dimming cores
A little darkness before the dawn
A little fear before end of song
To reach the fires of the illustrious sun
To return from where we once had come
M.M. — 01-Mar-2015
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