Self-Awareness vs. Self-Interrogation

It recently dawned on me that there is a somewhat subtle but critical distinction between self-awareness and self-interrogation. I think the meaning of self-awareness is quite well-understood by people; self-interrogation, however, is something perhaps we do not think much about. By self-interrogation I mean a systematic and sincere questioning of our inner workings, particularly with regards to the conflicts raging inside of us. It is substantiated by the processes of self-awareness of course (how can I question my inner self without being aware of its trappings?), but it is much more involved than simply acknowledging one's own faults. Rather, self-interrogation requires a level of candidness that may very well reach a level of cathartic unease. At its heart is the need to be able to unwrap both the nature of our behaviors, thoughts or beliefs and their origin(s), and if necessary to critique ourselves unabashedly, with the ulterior motive of affirmative self-love. The goal is not simply to become ever more self-aware and expert on our own malfeasances (or virtues, for that matter); it is a vehicle by which we can enact real and substantive change, by which we can set out the next steps in the grand plan for our self-development.

I have spent some time the last few days interrogating myself—or more accurately, attempting to devise a method of thorough and bona fide interrogation. While I feel like I have "nailed down" self-awareness (for the better or worse...), self-interrogation is a concept that is well and truly new to me. This is new ground upon which I tread.