"I never knew what to say"

I never knew what to say,

The way that I could just talk

To you and be me and laugh

And say whatever that came to

My mind. You have always been

The very best of what I’ve known

And liked and loved and believed.

I think you deserve the very best,

And will excel in what you do because

You’re the very best. And that’s not

Something I just say. It’s something

I stand by and honor and acclaim.

Because you always surprise me

And rise in me a smile. You’ve been

One of my favorite things. A corner

Of my soul and heart. And so you

Are Royalty to me: defensible, supreme,

And—just—so very beautiful to me.

I am going to miss you like the breeze

Of the coming spring season.

Thank you for everything. For

Everything you’ve given me.

Any little thing—or big. Because 

You are a queen and have always

Been. Because you are the

One of the best things I have ever

Known or wish to know. Or

Will ever want to come to know.

M.M.

The Black

I would jump into that blackness, I swear
And I could not tell whether it was best to or not…

It’s a circle of vultures, really; those fiends needing to feed
It’s a conversation of utter nihility and supreme eventuality—I think

If I gave you a dimple in the sand and told you to walk

Outward, where would you end up?

Very much in the same place, I would say

 Since we walk silk-footed and ill-ward and round-ward

We come back to nestle at home, to be warm

To that inner-inner thing that pulses unrelentingly

Our thing that seems to keep beating despite it all

That thing I suppose we need more than it does

Our heart: we never do realize its battering

That which takes the brunt of our everything

I have thrown just about anything to it

And, yet, it is still there and beating

I thought it would probably end earlier than this

But I suppose there is more yet to be done

M.M.

"What are we if not our memories and our past?"

What are we if not our memories and our past? Memory and past is the basis of culture. And the closest tie we have to memory and past is family. The family we are born of, the family we are blood of, the family we make ties of, by thread, by experience, and by travail and passage of time. My song has been sung before the dawn had voice. And yet your blood is not the sole worth. I have run a flood of tears to remember my family. And my life-water has told me to remember the blood that has run, and the blood that has been spilt, and that blood that will never run ever again. I am my father’s son. And I am not. I am my father’s blood. And I am not. My history is not one to be appropriated by your pretense or your politic. Give your song and give your family. Give your tears. If you can even bravely can. Because we are blood, and memory, and past, and bravery, and song, and we are family.

M.M.

"There was a faint glimmering"

There was a faint glimmering in the deep dark of the ocean.
A light so tender and so fragile, glimmering in the dark.
Amongst the swirling mass of liquid darkness a light shone.
It spun ever so gradually but spun with a purpose, a conviction.
Its size was immeasurable–both small and large; and its matter:
both tangible and so incorporeal. A pure thing made of light.
A fallen star, trapped in the barren ocean, trapped in unlight.
It spoke in a nearly imperceptible visual melody, nearly drowned by
the cacophony of chaos encoffining it. A melody of undying life.
It had been there for aeons, trapped, but held out against its own doom.
Up from the sky and down to the deep it fell an age ago.
But it still shines and it still sings, to this day.
A life in the dark.
A light in the void.

M.M.

"It has never been quite clear to me"

It has never been quite clear to me:
the celestial orbits of minds.
We are each of us a bright star in the great vault
of night, but also separated by the empty void.
I have careered so far and so wide
but have seemingly covered zero-distance.
If every man and woman is a star,
a great orb of fire and kinetics and life;
then every man and woman is master
of their own sky, and burns as an aeon.
What then does it mean to know a sun?
What then does it mean to love one?
By all this, it must surely mean
the very beginning of time itself.

M.M.

Depression (Iteration 9)

I am enwrapped in some dark shroud
of a dream that lost its way along the way.
I see variegated futures but they seem just out of reach.
I thought I would become the man I envisioned
in the dead of the night, by the fires' light.
But there is a storm that has never let up;
there is a weariness right behind my eyes
that enervates the very mass of me—what little it be.
I used to propel myself like a comet
across the multiverse of my mind,
birthing stars and careering far.
But the darling daughters of my great vault
do not dance in their everlasting light.
I lay still now—dormant—a deep slumber
in which the shades take ghastly form.
Listening intently for the music of yesteryear:
the sound of galaxies that once so comforted me.

M.M.

"My world trembled"

My world trembled
          with every step she took
I crumbled
          at the shifting of her neck
The dose brought me to ruin
Pursuing this careering shooting star
I can't remember when the dagger
Slipped in
          between my ribs,
          toward my heart
She came on soft like the wind
Nestling comfortably like sin
I never had a chance
It was one glance, maybe two
And I just sank and sank and sank
Deep down into her ocean blue
And now, I'm somewhere between
The spear-tip of madness and
Utter desiccation
Everything else
          is just gravity: unbreakable law

M.M.

"The winter wind whirls round'

For Ale

The winter wind whirls round
Telling me of the things that make me unbound
I do not know how it is I now here stand
I do not know by which hand or brand
I was wrought by the magic of aeons
The billion-year processes that I am built on
Dust is my blood and atoms my breath
For but a minute I exist, and a minute to my death
As I watch the stars drift and align
And all the distant worlds collide
I know nothing but what this wind tells me
And the secrets my stars have gifted me

M.M.

"if I murdered the light"

if I murdered the light

would it stay the chaos in my mind?

if I murdered the light

would peace unseat my demon inside?

"These shadows"

These shadows howl and whirl round
And I'm becoming so unbound

I can tell you the Devil don't lie
And I've never questioned why

But I've found my reason to live
And I'm gonna give it all I can give
From this solarfall till I finally fall

Forever, once and for all

M.M.