It is quite terrifying to realise just how easy it is to fall into utter despair. To think about it—really think about it—to question one's position and purpose in life, to reason away all arguments for there being any meaning to existence—it is terrifying. Entertain this train of thought with some conviction for but a moment and you will lose yourself in the abyss. Contextualise your life among the infinity of the universe and it soon becomes horrifyingly clear that you are a dust speck to a dust speck. This could scare one to emotional and psychological death, I dare venture. I do not think many people realise that a fine, imperceptible line exists between self-deceiving bliss and this pit out of which you cannot climb.
So how then can we stand up to this? Why is it that we do not all just relent and simply give up? That would be the easy and arguably reasonable option. Some would say there is nothing to avail us when confronted with this despair. But what say I? I do not know which scares me more: that I contemplate this horror in the first place or that I have no incontrovertible rebuttal to offer as a reply.
But perhaps this is not as great a catastrophe as it would seem. I have and continue to kindle the blazing beacon inside of me, the light I nurture that is positioned at the nexus of my entire being. This is what drives me, what makes me want to fight for tomorrow. My dreams, fantasies, imagination, hopes, ambitions and love flow from here. I believe in it; I place all my faith in it. In the face of the almighty adversity of complete hopelessness I hold onto, with dear, brightest life, myself. I am my own anchor, the stars by which I navigate the treacherous seas of existence.
The fear, then, the fear that can overcome me, I continually repulse. How do I kill the abyss in every dreaded epiphanous moment of my life? With the strength that I know is as strong, if not stronger, than the emptiness.
No comments:
Post a Comment