Song III - Matilda

Matilda by the brook
She brought me nightmares she kept for play

That encounter in the wood
Her face was secreted by the night in her hair

How was it that I did not stagger?
How was it that I did not flee?

Beckoning me toward the water
The tangible moon menaced
And lit her

Glimmering eyes
Her livid lips
Mischievous grin
Sylphic naked body
This sylvan creature

The gnarled trees stirred at her behest
Encroaching mists drew to where she stepped

And the dark (the dark)
The cold of her hand
That turned my dying light black (black)

She would accept all I had to offer
Yet ask for just one thing

With timbered fingers she caressed me
An eclipsing kiss
Then she was gone

At the coming of dawn
I forsook the empty world
And followed the impressions
She left upon the forest floor

Her bare feet had marked
The path I had already known

M.M. — September MMX

"Poem XII" to be published

After entering it into the 2010 Poetry Rivals competition managed by Forward Press, "Poem XII - And so the world" (reprinted below) has been selected for publication.

The composition will be featured in Poetry Rivals' Collection 2010 - Whispers Of The Mind, scheduled for publication on 30 November 2010.


Poem XII - And so the world

 Influenced in no small part by Mr T. S. Eliot.


And so the world continues its languid dissolution,
and the hum hum, drums and wails drown all out;
whilst creeping along his bleary path, head-wingèd,
comes Hypnos and in train his progeny—

What whimpers will I give when Thánatos comes for me?—

Creeps:

the scent of ancient forests where hoary wizards roam in wisdom—
In his hollow-hillock covered in moss and lichen lives the hermit:

I am the one-man screaming, arms in upward fury, lambasting the silent sky;
the spectator, miserable and magnificent, spying happiness from corners.

But what if that reflection of sunlight on that tin could bring me
back to those carefree days in places long gone?
Back to relive—to relieve!—reword words not said
but meant!—so dearly

...meant....

His back: so bent!

I tarry here; tire of this place.
What lies beyond where the stars pine
and
—'bove?
—below?
—before?
—behind?
my mind?

Would that I could...

could just....

Take a moment!,
ye hurried masses;
take but one single moment!
And—

Behold:
A vista:

An afternoon of a dying sun
dispersing its golden sea of remains—
Azure sky and a painter's clouds.
What a marvel to see
(to be able to just see!)
the neo-Gothic tower and spire
Posturing Proudly, timelessly,
defying their makers
and all manacled man alike.

What will break my adamantine shackles!
I wish to handle my hollow universe!
And dare!—yes, dare!
Ha-hah!
I will dare!
and!...

Palsy: fell-come, my dear friend:
Do you too feel the heavy weight on my chest?
My heart tender is severely constricted!
and restricted!
My how restrained and pained I feel!
Damn It!:
It is merciless!
Damn This!:
This lace!

But do I still not wander?:
in secret fantasies of love
and in secret fantasies of life?

In these precious
reverie-memories;
sham remembrances:

Garden lights—
outside a modern Danish summerhouse
—under variegated twilight.

Childhood innocence in a sheltered school-world
Oh and all the little things that are for me
All the small and touchable things
All the things with noises
And flashing lights
My things
Mine

A horroromance with
my Lady of evenfall-breed,
enswathed in sepulchral ruched satin;
and a dead-of-night tryst:
We together hurrying away
to oblivion
in an ebon landau
drawn by daemon equine—
all the while flitting with ease
between lucidity
and lunacy;
between the ethereal

and idioreal:

So I ride as passenger;
the country-dark night-chill
—erstwhile besieger:
I dismiss apathetically
its clamouring for the world—
and it
now forgotten.

So I ride;
onwards!
on byways;
onwards!
on highways;
onwards!
on my ways.

So I:

I, ensconced in a seat that stokes warmth—
Come, dream!; come, sleep!

I, observing the unlit country in awe—
Come, mind!; come, psyche!

I, immersed In the Nightside Eclipse—
Come, memory!; come, reverie!

(Two glinting eyes: unshut;
two pricked ears: censorless;
but a smirk
and silence kept.)

M.M. — Februarius-Aprilis MMX

Aubade II - O glorious Sol!

O glorious Sol!
I bid Thee welcome
As Thou wakens from Thy perennial slumb'ring.
Send forth now Thy legion spears of golden light!
Thou art deathless
And stand e'er supreme
In the empyreal pantheon of the all-spanning Welkin.

Greater art Thou than man who mindlessly treads the Earth.
Greater art Thou than the obscure ones crafted by fearful man.

I beseech Thee, O Sol!
Accede to let me bask in Thy fire,
So that I may know
What the nascent Earth first knew
When Time wast young
Yet Thou already presided strong.

Thou art my Mother, my Father;
Thou wert there when I came,
Thou shalt be there when I leave.

And when I am gone, Thou shalt remain.

So it hath been, so it is, so it shall be:
For All and Everything,
Anointed by the searing rays of Thy diurnal Kingdom.

M.M. — November-December MMIX; Aprilis-Maius, September MMX

Poem XV - I dream of the sands

I dream of the sands that have endured
I dream of the winds that have not aged
The sun-baked obelisks that have stood
The remains untouched by time's rage

I dream of the worlds that with me drift
I dream of the gods now deep in sleep
The myths that blare out from the rift
The host of unsung secrets that I keep

I dream of the ravaged earth's slowed pulse
I dream of the things that are left that crawl
The echoes of that which we cherished most
The wealth and worth of man that will fall

M.M. — September MMX

Prose V - The Black Gates [A work in progress]

I had finally arrived. My journey had been long and arduous and oppressive—but I had finally arrived. The Black Gates. They had described them to me in horrifying, detestable detail. For Their cruel pleasure, They took pains to imprint in me an ineffaceable image of grotesquerie that would rout all pride and vanity from my self. But what stood before me now—what bore down on me now like an Olympian slighted—was utterly ineffable.

These gates were unlike anything I had ever seen—surely unlike anything any mortal person had or should ever dare glance upon; all that I had come across until now was bucolic and plain in comparison to this hell-inspiring portal. For I beheld: at either end, beside the main metalwork, their hands acting as the gates’ hinges, were what I then and there unhappily denominated the Repellent Guardians.

The pair were undeniably statues, massive statues, sculpted from some indeterminate material that resembled obsidian. Obsidian because—oh!—how deeply black they were: as black as the infinite void between the stars up above! Even so, what truly frayed the sinews of my very soul were their forms.

On the left—there: a severely lacerated, hunched over, decrepit man (or what barely could be called a man), with wrists and ankles manacled. His tortured countenance exuded the utmost hideousness; I could muster no strength of will to look away from the dread billowing forth from it. Most strangely, in him I saw for a moment something of myself, something that terrified me more than the physical sight of this flogged wretch. What it was precisely I could not discern: the fear was overwhelming.

And on the right—there: the likeness of a woman whose mouth and eyes were savagely stitched forever shut, and whose ears were nothing more than callously cauterised, deformed stubs. She would never again utter another word, never see the world, never hear sounds! She was just as abhorrent as her fellow languishing beside her, perhaps more so; and the difficulty of averting my eyes was just as strong. And again there was some queer thing about her—this eternally silenced, eternally blinded, eternally deafened mass—a sense of familiarity of which any thought of a possible confirmation sickened me to my core.

These colossi—erected by the nameless things, the secret things—: I, after a bout of irrepressible aversion and stark reflection, realised what their purpose was, the design behind their nascence. They were stationed there, had been stationed there since the first machinations of maleficence arose, to bar entry to those of “unsuitable” constitution. I say unsuitable because during my wracking communing with Them They hinted ever so slyly to Their reason for choosing me as the audience for Their presentation (as They put it), an event of mythical rarity: They had been searching worlds between worlds and worlds beyond worlds—searching the cosmos and the planes of reality and irreality over—searching for suitable beings who had the potential to overcome Their Crucible.

Thus these Repellent Guardians screen out those who have not the will to transcend the limits of fear, in all its unsightly forms, and dare enter through the Black Gates.

This revelation solidified something within me, buttressed my ever-augmenting cathedral. I had come so far that I was determined not to let these foul demon-wrought opera deter me from the Prize that reposed beyond. Without further hesitation I entered; this first trial, I had overcome.

November MMIX; Februarius-Aprilis, September MMX

Thought and Spontaneity

It is in my opinion that a connection between fleeting thoughts and spontaneous action, specifically the action of recording these thoughts, is of value to an individual. These thoughts—epiphanies better describe them—though temporary in duration, reveal an outstanding amount of understanding. Their occurrence is near impossible to foretell, which should be fairly obvious as thought is a rather disorderly mental process, but it appears that the epiphanies formulate themselves during times of 'inattentiveness'.

Inattentiveness should not be taken as negligence, however; rather this inattentiveness occurs when one does not give much thought in carrying out some menial task. Doing such a task would leave one's mind open to the aforementioned epiphanies. Take for example brushing one's teeth: the process of such an act is embedded in one's long-term memory and so thinking of absolutely nothing, which in itself is something, is possible.

What exactly these momentary mental constructions reveal is largely due to what is being thought. If one were to begin thinking of the relationships and interactions between women and men, a possible revelation that could present itself might be that it is illogical for either of the two to dominate over or be subordinated by the other.

The spontaneous action of recording epiphanies within the shortest amount of time as possible should enable one to extract more from the epiphanies' revelations. Records will allow one to ponder over the exact meaning of the epiphanies and, in the end, incorporate them into one's greater knowledge.

Scientiam et intellectum

Ever felt like the world is a downright ugly place, that doesn't get any better day after day? Surely the despair is all-encompassing...surely. There is no comfort at the conclusion of this realization, no...no, nothing. Nothing—such a devastatingly pure word...purely devastating. Where is the hope; where has Hope gone? No, no hope—nothing. H'm, reflections into the conscious mind, into the so-called spirit, are stark—black. There is no use to it, no purpose: "Nothing to be done". Then why think, why this? Yes—why? No point asking why. Why draws one into an endless circle; no use, no purpose. No greater pain pangs me than this—a heart that has no one to love. But there is purpose, use; purpose to determine that there is none—

Black Metal

This is an excerpt from the documentary Metal: A Headbanger's Journey.

Black Metal

The Soul as Is

As I gaze outside my windowpane, And take in the wonder of the sky; The walls of my room begin to close in, And the emptiness could make any cry.

For is my heart a vessel daring sea?

For is my heart a vessel daring sea? Dare tempest, thunderstorm, and trident's quake? Alack! yet mine is sheltered by no lee, But rather shipwrecked, beached—denial's wake! My lute, a-tuned so fervidly, doth dote On thee; thou crown'd for prime seraphic grace. I strive toward thy heart despite thy moat; Toward that thorny rose done up in lace. And those who confidently try compare To Beauty's host, but folly they will find. As sure doth night aways with any glare, In like course, souls of ours will duly bind. So onwards, seaman, love for none will wait! Indeed, her love resembles heaven's gate.